Showing posts with label shopgirls in scuzztown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopgirls in scuzztown. Show all posts

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Dress Like Her Issue 3: The Girl With The Black Tights



We all get a little lazy from time to time. Perhaps we stayed up a little too late last night, working on our Great American Novels or figuring out how to synthesize clean energy in our fancy basement laboratories..

... Or maybe we were just drinking champagne with our friends and trying to draw the weekend out as long as possible. But I'm sure you were up to a more scholarly pursuit than that. We know how smart our audience is.

We all have those days where we wake up later than we meant to...and there are decisions to be made: do I take a shower, or do I get to work on time? Do I chain myself into a precious frock even though I'm hungover and would much prefer to be comfortable (and have the time to make breakfast)?

There are several women in the history books that have completely perfected just out of bed chic. My personal favorite?


Yeah, she looks pretty done up right here but Edie Sedgwick was the princess of roll out of bed and throw it on. But first a little back story:

Oh Edie...


She was born into a long line of Important People. Her family were wealthy "High Society" types for several generations. So of course their kids ended up kinda messed up. Living in that world would be enough to drive anybody mad, but Edie had the benefit of a dad who openly banged women that weren't his wife and a brother who would commit suicide in a psych ward... and then ANOTHER brother who died in a motorcycle accident.

As a result, she did what I think many of us would do if we had total freedom, a huge trust fund and decided we were pretty over our entire family having breakdowns, throwing us in institutions and dying all the time: She moved to New York City, and shacked up in a fancy apartment her mom decked out (before moving into the Chelsea Hotel, a personal dream of mine...) and started hanging out with crazy, drugged up artists.

  "It's not that I'm rebelling. It's that I'm just trying to find another way."
Her personal style attracted attention when the uptown girl went downtown cool, well documented in the newspapers' social columns. LIFE magazine joked that she was "doing more for black tights than anybody since Hamlet". And indeed, tights were a huge part of her signature style, a look that seemed so easy but had a lot of intention behind it:

"Fashion as a whole is a farce, completely. The people behind it are perverted, the styles are created by freaked out people, just natural weirdos. I know this because I worked with all those people while I was modeling."
Which is why, on days when I have been rocking and rolling all night and need to be somewhere and presentable in a hurry, I often channel Miss Edie. Here is an easy, step by step guide!

Edie in an Instant: A Shop Girls in Scuzz Town Guide

1. Mood Music

Bob Dylan and I share a lot of muses. Just like good old Francoise Hardy, some of his work is rumored to be about Edie. Particularly the songs Just Like A Woman and the somewhat insulting but pretty great as a "getting dressed" jam, Leopard Skin Pill-Box Hat.


 2. Why Bother to Wash Your Face?

 

The story goes that Edie's friends would get pissed at her because she took three hours to do her incredibly elaborate eye make up before she went out. But that's a good time investment because when you shellac it all on and then pass out in a puddle of champagne you can reuse it the next day!

So next time you've slept a half hour past the alarm, just put more makeup over last night's! You don't have to be an expert to smudge on too much black eyeshadow and your eyeliner can be far from perfect. Edie favored giant fake lashes but when there were none to be had she just drew those on too. A little lip gloss, or nothing on the lips at all, completes the look. Simple and dramatic. Draw a fake beauty mark on your cheek if you're feeling extra daring.

3. The Hair Part

 

Edie was naturally a brunette but her hair was all kinds and combinations of bleached, partially bleached and streaked with silver (rumored to be an effort to channel the wigs that her frenemie Andy would wear). Her hair always looked good without ever having to be perfect. She wore it short and tousled, penciling her strong eyebrows to make them even bolder. A look that doesn't require even a hairbrush? Yes please.

4. The Jewels

 

Edie was rarely without GIANT chandelier earrings and usually let those do the talking. She didn't wear much other jewelry most of the time, but when she did she selected it with care.


Here she is, wearing what looks a whole lot like a rosary as jewelry. Girlfriend knew how to piss people off.



And here, she is wearing only moderately giant earrings with a ton of chains. Wrapped up in another chain.

4. The Clothes

  "When I was with Andy Warhol I was dancing jazz ballet twice a day so i just wore my leotards and I knew I wasn't going to turn anybody on so I just trotted around in my leotards. When I went out on the street I'd put on a coat. But Vogue photographed me in leotards and a t-shirt as a new costume."

Edie was often found pantsless, usually in a leotard or a sweater, with a fur coat thrown over it. She was rarely without her black tights. She was so infamous for them that she did a photo spread called The Girl With The Black Tights for LIFE magazine. 

So next time you're flying out the door, all you need to do is throw on some black tights, a striped shirt long enough to cover your butt and some black kitten heels. Throw your sweet fur (ideally fake or at least secondhand) coat over the top and run for the hills, looking fab with your chandelier earring jangling and reflecting sunlight all over downtown.




"You have to put up with the risk of being misunderstood if you are going to try to communicate. You have to put up with people projecting their own ideas, attitudes, misunderstanding you. But it's worth being a public fool if that's all you can be in order to communicate yourself."

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Bringing Out the Inner Bad Girl

Most of the time I am content with my simple law abiding life. I walk to work. I respect my elders. I save kittens from trees and don't cheat on my taxes. I always tip and replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty.

But sometimes life just sucks and you wanna scream expletives in the middle of the street and block 4th Ave traffic all the way to the westside. You want to sleep all day instead of going to work, rock and roll all night and party every day (until the money runs out at least). You want to chain smoke and drink and get in a fight with anyone who looks at you wrong, to sneak out your window at one in the morning even though you haven't lived with your parents for years. You want to steal a car or a motorcycle and drive alone to Los Angeles and never come back.
This is how I feel this week.


Mercury is in retrograde until tomorrow and I suspect many of us are feeling that way right now. I think we as Shop Girls have made it clear that sometimes a little hedonism goes a long way. We all get tired of feeling like we're being walked all over from time to time and you need to show the world who's boss. Dear Readers, it's time to bring out the inner Bad Girl.



**DISCLAIMER: Everything I'm gonna suggest is perfectly legal, assuming you are not underage or stupid. I'm not saying you should ACTUALLY steal a car or anything that would really get you in trouble. Shop Girls take absolutely no responsibility for any mess you may get yourself into. Use your head. You may not call us from jail**

Bringing Out Your Inner Bad Girl and Blowing Off Steam

If you are feeling aggro, there are plenty of ways to release that destructive energy without harming anyone else. Suggestions:


-Go to the Free Wall behind the Capitol Theater and spray paint to your heart's content. It's completely legal and that wall has years of paint on it. It feels more badass to dress like a burglar and go at night, but if you choose to go that route bring some friends and pepper spray with you because shady things can happen in dark alleys. Day time is safer but do what you want. Remind the world that DISCO SUCKS.

-Pick a friend, and a social setting where there's a chance of chatting up someone you don't know. Meet people and introduce yourselves using fake names. Give them totally false life stories and do your best to keep a straight face. Laugh your head off when you see the missed connection for "Tiffany and Shelby, the recently transplanted twin Kabuki dancers". Bonus points if you wear a wig.

-Re-embrace the immature hilarity of practical jokes. No one ever died from chasing a five dollar bill tied to a fishing wire and if you've never pissed anyone off you're not living any kind of a life.

-Pretend you're sick, call into work and take a personal adventure day. Dress up like a fancy lady, take a bus to the nearest major city and have an expensive cocktail in the middle of the afternoon. Or just sit at home with your cat and have a Rock of Love marathon. They can live without you for a day.

-Go through your old yearbooks and draw devil horns and mustaches on everyone who was rude to you. Then look them up on Facebook and see what they're up to now. Chances are, karma struck.

-Be sassy. Tell the ogling dude to stop being gross. Flip off the motorist that cut you off. Call your bank's national headquarters and scream your head off about the unfair charges you were just gonna live with. Just make sure you don't take any angst out on someone that doesn't deserve it.

-Stick your gum under the table at Denny's. Yeah it's gross and immature, but again, no one's gonna die.

-Download your favorite albums from when you were an angsty teen and play them LOUD. Wake up your roommates blasting Marilyn Manson and ignore their passive aggressive texts. Apologize later.

-Get some badass temporary tattoos from the grocery store vending machine and cover your neck in them. Growl at anyone who spends a little too much time staring them down and say yes to everyone who asks if they're real.

-Go see a local rock or punk show. Dance around and bump into people. Wink at the guitar player but never say a word to him or her. Loud music can be very healing to a frazzled brain and local music scenes are totally worth supporting.

We all have times when we feel angry or aggressive, and I think it's better to to process these emotions responsibly than to keep them bottled up forever. And since this is a fashion blog, here's some outfit inspiration. Debauchery done right, and in style. Bad girls do it well.

Red lips and black nails just scream "Look Out World". Wear your cross ring upside down to really freak people out. Pair a sexy black dress with a denim jacket for a look that is cute but tough. Make sure you're wearing comfortable shoes so you can run away when the red lights start flashing.
Soon the stars will align in our favor again and everything will feel okay again. The Shop Girls will go back to being sweet and attentive and baking cupcakes for the underprivileged. "Badness" is a fun mind vacation, not a sustainable way of life. Proceed with caution. Grrrrr....

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Today's Reason to Wear a Dress: Hobo Magic

This may turn into a rant. I'm just going to warn you right at the start. Okay!
Oh, Olympia...

'Today's Reason to Wear a Dress' stems from a long, ongoing frustration I've had with Olympia's street life. Since I moved here almost two years ago, I couldn't NOT notice the circus-like dynamic of this city's downtown area. Peddlers, pushers, pretentious punks squatting on curbs with cardboard signs. I didn't see humility in these characters' eyes. I didn't sense any sort of life experience, any bit of tragic set back. I only saw entitlement.

Spread Eagles.

(Rant begins!) I come from a big city where the homeless are ACTUALLY homeless. They don't have parents tucked away in hilltop mansions somewhere. They aren't 20-somethings yearning to feel the human condition. They are people with missing legs, that fought in wars and they are construction workers that can barely afford their child support and this living on the street is not something they chose. It's the only option they had left. It just makes me livid to see people younger than me sitting on the sidewalk all day, expecting everything from everyone else instead of just getting up and earning money the way the rest of us do.

Two nights ago I saw a group of three wandering vagabonds carrying cardboard signs. One boy's sign said something like, 'Don't be HOBOphobic'. At the time I thought it was clever and even though I couldn't offer them any money, I stayed and talked to them for a bit. The following day I saw the same boy at the convenient store buying three bags full of beer. With a credit card! I've never even had a credit card! I was very near shrieking. But I held my cool and decided to type this post instead :)

I actually want all of these hairdos! Hot pink oh my gawwwd!

To walk around the streets of downtown Olympia dressed well (which for this city is a bit below the nation's average) is like wearing a bull's eye on your chest. You become an immediate target for any sort of begging. Because you are now the enemy, "the MAN" so to speak. And since I've been wearing dresses, since I've been walking in heels, since I've been putting on red lipstick I have received nothing but sneers and judgement from the young people that crowd the sidewalk asking me for 'some change'.

KT and Andrea: past selves

Well, I want to say that just because us shopgirls dress nice, wear make up and shower every once in awhile does NOT mean that we are flouncy, flourishing femmes. Nope! We are still shop girls that get paid just as much as any other shop girl. (For example, I have eighteen dollars to last me two weeks. Lolzzz!)
What it feels like sometimes.

And FINALLY onto the excuse we have for you to wear a dress today: Because you shouldn't be afraid to! Because no matter how harshly someone judges you, the only opinion of yourself that should ever matter is your own. Because dressing up can make you feel like a million bucks even if you only have eighteen. Because maybe one of those street kids is your spirit guide in disguise and in that case, you should always look your best!

Show those hobos who's boss and strut your stuff! See: below.


(*And just so you know, we shopgirls love everybody! Even teenage hobos, crazy meth heads and wacko ladies that leave a dozen dresses unzipped on the floor of the fitting room! We love you ALL!)

A song to inspire: Marva Whitney's "You've Got To Have a Job!" It's pretty funny actually. Oh, disco era. How we love thee.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

Shopgirls Guide to Livin' the Dream Life

Tips and tricks I have acquired from listening to my elders and living in the same town since I was born. Do you have something to add? Let us know...


1. There is no such thing as being overdressed. Only haters will say otherwise.




2. Be nice to everybody...You never know what crowd you'll be mixed in with a few years down the line.




3. The secret to looking young forever? Sunscreen and a lot of champagne.


4. Going to bed in make up is not the crime your grandma led you to believe. Even Lady Gaga does it:

"When asked how many nights per week she goes to bed wearing makeup, she replies, 'Seven'."

5. If your lover doesn't kiss you right, take you out, is mean to your friends, etc., it's time to go fishing for a new one. You can't ignore that glaring dealbreaker forever and there are plenty of cuties in the sea.
I tire of you...


6. As much as we all love to resist the idea, everything really does happen for a reason.



7. You can get your beauty sleep when you're dead.
Wake up...wake up! There is still kissing to be done!


8. Money woes suck balls but we've all been there and those types of things tend to work themselves out. If they didn't, we'd all be sleeping on the sidewalk by now.
http://threewordphrase.com/


9. There's a lid for every pot, a mate for every soul and the perfect lipstick for everyone, somewhere out there in the world. Sometimes you just have to do some searching.


10. Leopard print is totally acceptable as a neutral.
Or as anything. From The Sartorialist.



11. Having a crush, or crushes, is good for the soul. Even if it results in nothing more than longing glances and extra trips around the block.
He's never washing that hand again.


12. Sometimes being mysterious is the sexiest way to be.

13. All things you do, good or bad, return to you in threes. Keep that in mind.

14. Giving a shit about something is sexy. It's easy to get bored of someone who doesn't have any opinions.

"A very dorky passion is much better than no passion at all."-Aristotle


15. If you have a great idea for a tattoo, especially if you're young, get out your planner or calendar, turn to the date one year later, and write it down. When you get to that page next year and you still like idea call your artist ASAP and get it inked.

This lady probably did not take our advice.


16. Throwing a kitschy homemade birthday party for your BFF can be the perfect gift. Bake a cake, paint a cute banner and just invite the people they really love.
If they don't like your cake decorating skills, they're not really your friend.


17. Sometimes it's best to take a chance. There's a million reasons not to do something, but will it really matter in 5 years if you sell all your stuff, buy a plane ticket as far as you can go and wander until your visa expires? Every now and then, turning your life completely upside down can be the best thing you can do.

"I don't regret the things I did, but those I did not do!" Vrooom!
18. There's no point in wasting time hating your body. Unless you wanna pull a Heidi Montag and pay some wacko a million dollars to rearrange your butt fat, you're gonna waste a lot of precious time worrying about something you can't change. Lookin' good has nothing to do with your height or your waistline. It's all about finding what looks good on you and serving it up to the world slathered in confidence.


19. There is no such thing as too much glitter. Anyone who tells you otherwise just finds you threatening to their image as a lumberjack (and who wouldn't love to see a glittery lumberjack?!). You won't even die if you accidentally eat it! (Just don't eat that much...)

20. Once the wild rebellious teen years are over, it's great to count your mom (or dad, or parental figure) as a friend. You will be shocked at how similar you are and no one else in the world will ever know you as well as she does and still like you.
Eventually they stop trying to pull this kind of shit.


21. Telling someone how you feel is hot. Why waste time pining when you could be making out? Bonus: Great excuse to make a mix tape. Or to rent a marching band and get a street closed.


22. When the shit's hitting the fan and you feel like nobody likes you, the best thing you can is hop to the library, check out something fascinating, make a blanket fort and turn your phone off. Get lost in another world and don't come out until everybody's knocking down the door to your fort, begging you to return to their world.


23. So many women say "No no no, I could never wear heels! I'd break an ankle instantly!". This is just not true. Here's the secret to wearing heels (for your eyes only): Buy a nice pair of medium height with a chunkier heel that won't mess up your feet (Born is a great brand for the uninitiated). Throw a pair of flats in your bag just in case, but wear them wear them wear them for as long as you can. Do this every day for a week and you'll be jogging in stilettos in no time! This strategy totally works and adding heels to an outfit makes your legs and body look amaaaaaazing!


24. Print your digital pictures and do it often. You never know when your computer might die or be stolen, or maybe the world will end and Instagram won't be a thing anymore! (Oh, the horror!). You wanna be able to show your grandkids how snacky you looked as a teen, so plan ahead. Even better, take more photos with film. It looks 100 times better anyway.

25. And finally, for now, wearing pretty underwear is never a mistake.
"I may never walk again, but the paramedic was certainly charmed"