Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh, The Holidaze... or How to Keep From Poisoning Yourself With Poinsettas

Yep. We said it. The Holidaze are upon us.

Lurking slyly around every corner, creeping slowly with each passing day since Thursday. And so each one of us is either excitedly counting down the hours with our little advent calenders or grumpily grouching about town in our grinch outfits, anticipating the new year when we can get back to reality.

No matter which category you fall under, we decided it would be best to create a list of reasons to look forward to this holiday season! We swear, sappy things won't be happening in the text below. Unless, of course one of us has been drinking a bit too much sherry...

Speaking of which...

Why You Don't Gotta Hate the HOLIDAZE: Part One

1. Finally! A reason to open that bottle of Sherry!

Family Sized!
 This is what we recommend (which is a sentence starter you may be seeing a lot of in this piece): hike your little toosh down to the grocery store (or the liquor store, depending on what weird state rules your county abides by) and purchase yourself a couple of bottles of cheap ass sherry or cooking wine. Do this when you're bored one day and have a few extra bones to spend. Tuck these away deep in a cupboard someplace and wait until the winter rolls around. You'll be delighted to remember stowing such things away once you find yourself trapped in the arms of a snow storm. PLUS, if the modern world's been getting you down a glass of sherry will be sure to set you back a few decades!

2. Dressing like an onion never sounded so good.

What IS that little boy DOING!?

You know what we mean! Finally the time of year has come where we can wear long johns under t-shirts under sweaters under vests under jackets beneath coats! And fingerless gloves on top of mittens. And leggings below snowpants. And leg warmers over boots that are enveloping several pairs of socks. There's just nothing that can compare to the comfort of layering for the love of fashion, by golly!

3. OMG Head Toppers!

If Camelot, in general could design a hat...

Oh, yes indeed. Now's the time, fair friends! Our heads can once again BE TOPPED! I have to say, I love the excuse. I've got one of those seriously small heads that looks exceptionally better when covered with hat-like specimens. And so, chilly weather makes me squeal with excitement at the idea of shopping for new warm, face-framing accessories.

Plenty of places have hats! You should start a serious sweep of them before everyone else gets the cream of the top crop.

4. An excuse to get that new pair of fabulous boots!

"Slightly houndstooth'd or Striped and Ghostly? It's just so hard to choose!"

Similar to Reason Number 3, getting a new (or old but new to YOU) pair of boots is yet another wonderful perk of the season. You've just gotta remember that even though cute ones are in order, it's best to find a pair that fit comfortably and keep your feet dry through the never-ending mists of Olympia. I learned my lesson last year by not owning a single pair of weather-proof shoes. But THIS time, I've got my feet in good hands. And by hands I mean Boots and by boots I mean Awesome Adventures.

5. Karaoke just got THAT much easier.

 You see, karaoke is one of those pastimes many of us take for granted. We save it for nights when we don't recognize where we end up the next day. We lump the act of it together with 'eating three hotdogs in one sitting', 'peeing in our roommate's closet on accident' and 'getting caught absent-mindedly picking our nose'. And that category is called; "The Things That We Do When We're Wasted That We Don't Talk About When We're Not". 

Follow Judy's lead and hop to it!

But picture this: the bases are loaded, you've got all your little cards in the waiting line, your drink is full and the bar is slow. Why are all of these things in your favor? Because it's wintertime, kid! And sometimes people get too lazy to go out and take up crucial song-singing space that would otherwise be keeping you down. Unless, of course everyone in town reads this blog (which may very well be the case) and if that happens then we apologize for the rise of Karaoke interest. But that probably won't happen so go get your kicks (especially on weekdays) without being so wasted from waiting that you have to hear about it from somebody else. 

Stay tuned for more wonderful reasons to feel wonderful during this usually crappy time of year we like to call... THE HOLIDAZE!!!

We love you!

Andrea & KT

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