Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Oh, The Holidaze... or Reasons Not to Go Insane This Season: Part Two

 That's right! It's Part TWO, peoples! If you haven't read the first part then please scroll down and get your fill. To everyone else that is smarter than you are, we enjoy spoiling you. And you're welcome. (Teehee!)

Reasons Not to Destroy Your Family (or Self) During the HOLIDAZE:

1. The insides of houses have no excuse NOT to smell good.

What better reason to come home than to treat your nostrils like the queens that they are. Dead pine trees standing up in the middle of living rooms, cookies constantly in baking rotation, cologne gifts being tried on over and over, hot apple cider getting stirred with a mini cinnamon stick, and all sorts of other things that love to delight your scent-finding schnozes. Not to mention, the rich aroma of laziness. Familiar bodies slumped over couches, legs tucked under coffee tables, full bellies below knitted afghans and the list goes on. Nothing smells better than a kitchen at Christmas. Except for maybe the inside of a popcorn maker but we have a feeling heads don't belong in there...

2. COOKIES?!?!

I got excited just TYPING that word. Cookies are the most darling and precious food on EARTH. I mean, think about it. They come in an infinite amount of flavors and styles and designs! You can also make them look like pretty much anything. A rollerskate, a snowman, a football, a NAKED PERSON! Whatever you want. Plus, the act of baking them is a ritual that many families hold sacred. I'm not really allowed in the kitchen when I go home but if I were, you can bet that I would enjoy creating such delicious delights.

P.S. Homemade cookies make excellent gifts! As long as that person isn't allergic to anything you've hidden inside of them. Try giving adorable cookie love this year. It's a pretty inexpensive way to show someone you care. About food!

3. One scarf for every day of the week? Heck yes!

As women, we are required to stay on top of fashion. Most of us like to keep our outer appearances interesting by not constantly wearing the same thing. And one day when we're rich and famous, we'll have a different outfit for everyday of the year! But until that fantastic future happens, we can stock up on accessories. Most notably scarves!

Why? Because they keep us warm, can be draped in several different poses and are also interchangeable. We can wear one or seven. We can wrap it around our shoulders, our heads, our necks, our waist or our handbags. We can make an outfit look more debonaire or funky or even more casual. They are a necessity during freezing months like the ones that are approaching and basically, what's not to love?!
Scarves: keeping things interesting.

4. Put that Netflix account to good use!

Hate to break it to you but humans cannot actually hibernate. It really isn't fair, we know. Grizzly bears and small rodents and other fuzzy wuzzies spend a great deal of their year gathering loads of food and necessities so that they can spend the coldest months safe and sound in the warmth of their hidden homes. Since we don't really have that luxury, we suggest having entertainment sent to your doorstep!

I, myself don't have the internet in my place of residence which is why receiving little DVD's of delight makes my life all the more fabulous! Now's your chance to catch up on entire seasons of television that your real cool friends have been talking about. Or you could make things real interesting and try one of these cool tricks:
1. Pick a word out of the dictionary and rent every film that has that word in its title.
2. Only rent films beginning with a certain letter.
3. Pick a year you're quite fond of and check out what was made during it.
4. You can pretend you're a francophone by only watching en francaise!
5. Check out some killer Best Of Lists and you'll be impressing peeps in no time!

Some more obscure films we recommend viewing during this gloomy time of year? Sure, we got lots of 'em! Check it out by genre below:
Fright: Suspiria, While She Was Out, Daybreakers, any episode of Game of Thrones
Psychological Thrills: We Need to Talk About Kevin, Lying, Melancholia, Martha Marcy May Marlene
Female Journeys: Somersault, Movern Caller, Wendy and Lucy, Swimmers, Sleeping Beauty (the new version), Margot at the Wedding
Laugh Attack: There's a Girl in My Soup, Scrooged, Where the Boys Are, If a Man Answers, But I'm a Cheerleader
Hot and Steamy: Henry & June, Unfaithful, Aimee and Jaguar, My Summer of Love, Nine Songs, Shortbus, Dreamers, Y Tu Mama Tambien

This one is beautiful, creepy and will definitely make any righteous woman PISSED OFF.

5. Save a pillow, spoon a person!

And maybe make a spork in the process?!

It doesn't take a genius to know that body heat is contagious. And so we suggest taking advantage of that fantastic little fact and putting your limbs to good use! Sure, you can wrap your sweet self around the unfeeling torso of a pillow but what has that pillow ever done for YOU? Besides offer nice neck support and comfort...

No bath salts here. We promise.

We shopgirls think that it is perfectly acceptable to feed off of someone else's warmth. Especially when you're both very into each other. And you don't have previous obligations. And you are not using this opportunity only to make someone else jealous or cause harm to an innocent bystander. We certainly aren't going to judge you if you do but we feel that in order to promote Constant Cuddling, we've gotta follow such suggestion with the appropriate cautions.

This is a still from the film about Henry Miller and Anais Nin (Henry & June). Oh so ravenous!

Basically karma is a bitch and we wouldn't want anyone to get slapped this Holidaze season!

"Karma? What karma? Who's THAT!?"

6. Indoor activities never looked so good!!!

If you are fond of puzzle building, now's your chance! Have you been hankering for an opportunity to yodel? Well, belt it out then! Curious about the rules of spin the bottle? What better time to learn than during the coldest days of the year! And don't stop there. We've got some suggestions that should keep your indoor calender full til the flowers come home!

"Oh crud. I dropped that stitch again!"

Learn how to knit/sew/crochet. Gather several books on one subject from the library and become an expert on it. Set a goal for yourself to write that novel! Learn and memorize how to mix all of your favorite cocktails. Paint the walls in an interesting shade or add bright stripes to a previously shaded space. Figure out how to win at gin rummy.

7. That gym account can finally be put to action.

Because the summer goes by so quick in this part of the world, it's hard to commit yourself to a life of indoor workout routines especially when the sun decides to poke its weary head. Since the upcoming months are bound to be dreary, we recommend revisiting the gym you used to frequent. And if you're new to the game, what perfect time to sign your evenings away!

Add this one to your queue, babies!

You'd be surprised at the energy you've been secretly hoarding for so long. And pumping iron is known to help shake you out of the doldrums. Especially when surrounded by others working just as hard as you are. So dust those shoulders off, whip those sneakers out, get that spandex on and let the sweat roll down, baby!

Don't you wish this shot was Scratch N' Sniff?! Yummy.

Added bonus: Working out warms your body up. So you can face the cold air without fear. Plus walking around with that hot musky scent is known to attract others. So don't be surprised if you end up catching a wink or two...

Plus when else do you get to dress this sexy cool?!

8. And speaking of which... Dancing warms the body and feeds the soul!

Yes, we pretty much addressed this activity in the previous wintry suggestion but we feel that dancing is not something to be taken for granted! It can make you smile, keep your spirits up and gives you an excuse to put on that Rick James record. It can work out your bod, shine that hardwood floor and help you practice your moves for future public possibilities.

Maybe Prince Charles should've done some side-stepping on his downtime, eh?

We have definitely talked about dancing on this blog before. At great length, actually. So we won't dive too deep right now except to say that... There is no reason for you ever to be bored when you can... DANCE!!!


9. Time to Cut That Record

It isn't rare that musicians use this time of year to create their masterpieces. You've got loneliness stewing in a pot full of melancholy, cold toes and wishful thinking. Despite all the cheer going on, there are still some of us that call this season... Depressing.

But if you play your cards right, such dour emotions can be harbored, stored and used in brilliant ways! Like creating things from the deepest, most darkest parts of your soul! Some say that happiness breaks up bands. And that joy kills the artist. (Actually I made those things up but it makes perfect sense.) Without the sad, we can never fully appreciate delight.

And so, if you've got yourself a guitar or a triangle or even just a whistle; now may be the absolute best time for you to let your heart do the talking and express yourself through music. If you can afford to hide away in someone's cabin, do that also! We can't wait to hear what your crazy little hands can do!

Alright! More reasons not to spit on the Holidaze are coming up! Hopefully you've managed to get some useful days out of the ones mentioned thus far.

Until next time, keep your cute heads up, your lovely hands busy and yourself looking fantastic.

Andrea and KT

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