Thursday, July 19, 2012

Shopgirls Guide to Livin' the Dream Life

Tips and tricks I have acquired from listening to my elders and living in the same town since I was born. Do you have something to add? Let us know...

1. There is no such thing as being overdressed. Only haters will say otherwise.

2. Be nice to everybody...You never know what crowd you'll be mixed in with a few years down the line.

3. The secret to looking young forever? Sunscreen and a lot of champagne.

4. Going to bed in make up is not the crime your grandma led you to believe. Even Lady Gaga does it:

"When asked how many nights per week she goes to bed wearing makeup, she replies, 'Seven'."

5. If your lover doesn't kiss you right, take you out, is mean to your friends, etc., it's time to go fishing for a new one. You can't ignore that glaring dealbreaker forever and there are plenty of cuties in the sea.
I tire of you...

6. As much as we all love to resist the idea, everything really does happen for a reason.

7. You can get your beauty sleep when you're dead.
Wake up...wake up! There is still kissing to be done!

8. Money woes suck balls but we've all been there and those types of things tend to work themselves out. If they didn't, we'd all be sleeping on the sidewalk by now.

9. There's a lid for every pot, a mate for every soul and the perfect lipstick for everyone, somewhere out there in the world. Sometimes you just have to do some searching.

10. Leopard print is totally acceptable as a neutral.
Or as anything. From The Sartorialist.

11. Having a crush, or crushes, is good for the soul. Even if it results in nothing more than longing glances and extra trips around the block.
He's never washing that hand again.

12. Sometimes being mysterious is the sexiest way to be.

13. All things you do, good or bad, return to you in threes. Keep that in mind.

14. Giving a shit about something is sexy. It's easy to get bored of someone who doesn't have any opinions.

"A very dorky passion is much better than no passion at all."-Aristotle

15. If you have a great idea for a tattoo, especially if you're young, get out your planner or calendar, turn to the date one year later, and write it down. When you get to that page next year and you still like idea call your artist ASAP and get it inked.

This lady probably did not take our advice.

16. Throwing a kitschy homemade birthday party for your BFF can be the perfect gift. Bake a cake, paint a cute banner and just invite the people they really love.
If they don't like your cake decorating skills, they're not really your friend.

17. Sometimes it's best to take a chance. There's a million reasons not to do something, but will it really matter in 5 years if you sell all your stuff, buy a plane ticket as far as you can go and wander until your visa expires? Every now and then, turning your life completely upside down can be the best thing you can do.

"I don't regret the things I did, but those I did not do!" Vrooom!
18. There's no point in wasting time hating your body. Unless you wanna pull a Heidi Montag and pay some wacko a million dollars to rearrange your butt fat, you're gonna waste a lot of precious time worrying about something you can't change. Lookin' good has nothing to do with your height or your waistline. It's all about finding what looks good on you and serving it up to the world slathered in confidence.

19. There is no such thing as too much glitter. Anyone who tells you otherwise just finds you threatening to their image as a lumberjack (and who wouldn't love to see a glittery lumberjack?!). You won't even die if you accidentally eat it! (Just don't eat that much...)

20. Once the wild rebellious teen years are over, it's great to count your mom (or dad, or parental figure) as a friend. You will be shocked at how similar you are and no one else in the world will ever know you as well as she does and still like you.
Eventually they stop trying to pull this kind of shit.

21. Telling someone how you feel is hot. Why waste time pining when you could be making out? Bonus: Great excuse to make a mix tape. Or to rent a marching band and get a street closed.

22. When the shit's hitting the fan and you feel like nobody likes you, the best thing you can is hop to the library, check out something fascinating, make a blanket fort and turn your phone off. Get lost in another world and don't come out until everybody's knocking down the door to your fort, begging you to return to their world.

23. So many women say "No no no, I could never wear heels! I'd break an ankle instantly!". This is just not true. Here's the secret to wearing heels (for your eyes only): Buy a nice pair of medium height with a chunkier heel that won't mess up your feet (Born is a great brand for the uninitiated). Throw a pair of flats in your bag just in case, but wear them wear them wear them for as long as you can. Do this every day for a week and you'll be jogging in stilettos in no time! This strategy totally works and adding heels to an outfit makes your legs and body look amaaaaaazing!

24. Print your digital pictures and do it often. You never know when your computer might die or be stolen, or maybe the world will end and Instagram won't be a thing anymore! (Oh, the horror!). You wanna be able to show your grandkids how snacky you looked as a teen, so plan ahead. Even better, take more photos with film. It looks 100 times better anyway.

25. And finally, for now, wearing pretty underwear is never a mistake.
"I may never walk again, but the paramedic was certainly charmed"

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